Let’s review, shall we?

Cat Shit
I must be considered one of the top experts of feline poop out there because not only does my cat love to leave samples of it around for me to clean up after, but cat shit is my top search referral on this site. Seriously. I get an average of at least one “cat shit” search referral a day—only 10 days into January of the new year, and already I have 13 search requests for “cat shit,” not counting whatever searches I get today. The cat shit researchers are, of course, finding this entry, but for all I know they could actually be searching for Japanese comics or pet recipes. Who knows? What disturbs me is that there are actually people out there specifically looking for cat shit.

By the way, I know that I make it only worse by writing about it, but I had to get that out there and let it air out, so to speak.

Betsy Wetsy
Perhaps I’ve been writing far too much about bodily functions, whether they belong to cats or dolls, but betsy wetsy is so far this month my second most frequent at 11 search referrals within 10 days. This doesn’t count the five search referrals for betsy wetsy doll, the four for tiny tears doll, and the three for tiny tears. What people are getting is this page, of course, but I’m sure these pages would be more useful.

Oh, and what bothers me most is not that people feed their Betsy Wetsy dolls lemonade or apple juice, or even that people buy such dolls at all, back then or even today; it doesn’t even bother me so much that anyone ever dreamed of a concept like this for a doll in the first place, and then manufactured and sold it quite successfully. What bothers me most is that my site is forever tied to it for the absolute smallest of reasons and that I can expect Betsy Wetsy doll lovers stumbling unto my site somehow for as long as Google lives.

London Derriere
Yet another popular search referral, again related to the area below the waist—london derriere, which leads to this page. How any random internet surfer could even come up with the phrase “london derriere” (I thought I was the originator, but I guess I wasn’t), is beyond me. I suppose I’m not the only one who is not only a little bit hard of hearing, but as well twisted enough to misinterpret words in the dirtiest, most butt-intensive way possible. It truly bothers me that there are more people like me out there. Truly, it does.

But there you have it, just a few of my frequent search referrals that are also related to, well, crap. It seems that all anyone ever really finds on my site is crap-related. Nobody ever stumbles onto my site looking for the meaning of life, while people looking for crap seem to come here in droves. What this tells me is that the meaning of life isn’t crap. No one looking for the meaning of life will ever find my site.

My one consolation? I get a ton of people looking for the meaning of moles, which is close enough, I guess. And that ain’t crap.

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