Lyrics and Music by April Martinez

Verse 1 – (Em, Em, B7, Em, Em, Em, B7, Em)
October thirty-one, the kids are all just having fun
In costumes and in groups outside the house out on the street.
They’re laughing, talking, and they’re knocking on the door
Of every house; they’re holding bags and calling out, “Hey, trick or treat!”

Verse 2
Yet at my house, the lights are out. I scream and shout,
But no one hears me crying. Dying, I am tied up in a chair.
A crazy lunatic has broken in — he’s “gotten wind”
That daddy was a pirate captain, rich and debonair.

Chorus 1 – (G, D, Em, B7, G, D, Am, C, G, D, Em, B7, G, D, Am, C)
This Halloween I have an unexpected house guest,
A mental patient looking for a secret treasure chest.
When he finds out that I’ve got nothing here worth takin’,
I’ll bleed a lot on Halloween and won’t be fakin’!

Verse 3
He goes through everything and beats me up and threatens me,
But he can’t find a dime or sign of treasure anywhere.
He gets so angry that he screeches, “Bloody murder!”
And he eats up all the candy, and I cry, “Hey, that’s not fair!”

Chorus 1
This Halloween I have an unexpected house guest,
A mental patient looking for a secret treasure chest.
When he finds out that I’ve got nothing here worth takin’,
I’ll bleed a lot on Halloween and won’t be fakin’!

Verse 4
It takes some doing, but I’ve got some skill persuading,
And I know he is delusional, so easy to persuade.
If I can tell him what he wants for me to tell him,
I can pull a fast one over him and send him on his way.

Bridge – (Am, Em, Am, Em, C, G, D, B7)
And then my black cat just a-wanders in the living room,
His tail a-swaying like he doesn’t feel a sense of doom,
And then I have the biggest baddest idea in a good long while.

Verse 5
I manage to convince the guy the litter box is mine.
“Don’t take it or the golden nuggets hiding deep inside!”
He laughs then slaps me, and he takes the litter box
And runs away with bags of cat poop bouncing neatly by his side.

Chorus 2
This Halloween, I had an unexpected house guest,
A mental patient looking for a secret treasure chest.
When he found out that I had nothing here worth takin’,
He took the poop. God’s honest truth. Yo, I ain’t fakin’!
[Repeat]

Outtro
October thirty-one, the kids are all just having fun
In costumes and in groups outside the house out on the street.

copyright © 2015-2016 by April Martinez

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