Meredith lived four houses up the street from me, and out of all my seventh grade girl friends, she was the only one with a pool in the backyard. This meant a lot of parties at her house, and with her place being only a hop-skip-and-a-jump away, it also meant that my kid sister could tag along every now and then.

One day, my friend Mary brought over her new boyfriend Shannon, who had the dreamiest Irish blue eyes and blond hair. With his fair coloring contrasting dramatically with her southeast Asian coloring, the two of them looked super cute together. I thought that they were perfect for each other, but for some strange reason, they began to argue and to pick on me. Mary kept telling me that Shannon had a crush on me and couldn’t take his eyes off me, and Shannon kept telling me that Mary wanted to have a body like mine and couldn’t take her eyes off me.

They were messing with my mind, and it was working. I was terribly confused and distracted.

I did a pretty good job of ignoring them at first, by catering to my sister’s whims. She wanted me to “swim like a mermaid, swim like a mermaid!” It was one of those things she liked watching me do—swim underwater with my legs and feet held tightly together, propelling myself with only my arms and the movement of my body. I was rather good at it, so swim like a mermaid for her I did.

I think it came off looking as though I were showing off, though, because when I surfaced after a couple of times, Mary and Shannon began to tease me even more about the other one either wanting me or wanting to be like me. I was getting too embarrassed to take any more of it, so I started to get dressed; there was just no way I was going to continue moving about in front of them wearing only my bathing suit.

Meredith’s older sister Maribeth saw me get dressed and asked me what I thought I was doing.

“I’m getting dressed!” I told her. “I’m done swimming for today.”

“Oh, come on!” she protested. “What are you talking about? Get your suit back on and get back in there.” But I shook my head no and kept dressing, ignoring her attempts to talk me out of not swimming.

I put a couple of tank tops on, a pair of shorts, white scrunchy socks, canvas shoes, and my all-time favorite Betty Boop painter’s cap. Then I sat at a corner and watched my sister and my friends play around in the pool. My getting dressed didn’t actually stop Mary and Shannon from harassing me, but at least I didn’t feel exposed.

Then my sister decided to make me proud.

She called to me excitedly and said “Watch me! Watch me!” And she dove under the water and swam like a little mermaid from one side of the pool to the other, imitating my earlier swim. Her moves weren’t nearly as practiced as mine, but they were impressive enough for me to draw a little closer to give her some praise. “Did you see me? Did you see?” she asked when she surfaced.

“That was good!” I gushed, clapping. “That was very—”

Suddenly there was pressure at my back, and I felt the world jump back a bit as my body was projected forward. The ground disappeared, and when I looked down, the pool water was rising up quickly to swallow me. It took me a moment to realize I was pushed, PUSHED, into the deep end of the pool, and the next thing I knew I was swimming in a panic toward the edge of the water.

I could hear laughter, and I could hear my sister calling my name in a worried near-tears tone. She was at the edge of the pool, reaching her arm out toward me, my rope to life. But for some godawful reason, I was having a hard time getting to her. I swam and tread water, but I couldn’t seem to move, and I felt as though I were sinking.

I can swim like a mermaid! I thought. I can do this!

But mermaids don’t have legs, and they don’t have feet covered in waterlogged socks and shoes. It took me damn near forever to get close enough to grab onto my sister’s hand and then onto the pool edge. By then, Maribeth and some of the others were in hysterics over her little prank. Mary looked embarrassed, Shannon looked concerned, and my sister was relieved to see that I was safe.

Me, I was upset. My all-time favorite Betty Boop painter’s cap with the paper brim was soaked and ruined forever. I picked it up, mourned over it, and sighed with resignation.

Then I took my wet clothes off until all I had on was my bathing suit, and I ended up swimming the rest of the day away anyway.

Figures.

*Sigh* …but at least Mary and Shannon stopped teasing me after that.

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