{"id":64,"date":"2002-08-07T23:38:23","date_gmt":"2002-08-08T07:38:23","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=64"},"modified":"2006-12-28T22:42:58","modified_gmt":"2006-12-29T06:42:58","slug":"the-world-through-aprils-ears-please-dont-encourage-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/?p=64","title":{"rendered":"The World Through April’s Ears: Please Don’t Encourage Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

Actual:<\/b> “I can’t believe it’s not butter.”
\nApril:<\/b> “I can’t believe it’s snot<\/i> butter.”<\/p>\n

Actual:<\/b> “Fuggedaboutit.” [New York way of saying “Forget about it.”]
\nApril:<\/b> “Fuck Ed about it.”<\/p>\n

I can’t escape it. Whether I hear it or read it, my mind<\/a> will<\/a> pervert it<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It does me no good to have it encouraged either. There are days of the month, for instance, when I’ll be in pain, and I’ll complain of menstrual cramps. The last<\/i> thing I need is for someone to start singing camptown ladies sing this song<\/a> in an old man’s voice—à la minstrel gramps<\/i>.<\/p>\n

Believe me. This happened to me last week.<\/p>\n

Naturally, I was annoyed. “Menstrual cramps, not minstrel gramps!” I cried. “And don’t sing that<\/i> song. If you’re going to hear me wrong, you might as well do it right. You should be singing Hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. Hello, my ragtime<\/i> gal<\/a>. It’s better timing, so to speak.”<\/p>\n

So you see? I should never be encouraged.<\/p>\nShare this post:

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Actual: “I can’t believe it’s not butter.” April: “I can’t believe it’s snot butter.” Actual: “Fuggedaboutit.” [New York way of saying “Forget about it.”] April: “Fuck Ed about it.” I can’t escape it. Whether I hear it or read it, my mind will pervert it. It does me no good to have it encouraged either. There are days of the month, for instance, when I’ll be in pain, and I’ll complain of menstrual cramps. The last thing I need is…<\/p>\n

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