{"id":58,"date":"2002-07-22T21:44:06","date_gmt":"2002-07-23T05:44:06","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=58"},"modified":"2005-09-23T08:43:08","modified_gmt":"2005-09-23T16:43:08","slug":"tiny-tears-and-betsy-wetsy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/?p=58","title":{"rendered":"Tiny Tears and Betsy Wetsy"},"content":{"rendered":"

He thinks I’m cute. I think he’s wearing rose-colored glasses.<\/p>\n

He thinks that because of the way that I look and sound, I get away with a lot. I think that because of the way that I look and sound, no one takes me seriously.<\/p>\n

Case in point: he compares me to a doll. A doll<\/i>. Tiny Tears<\/a> with the “rock-a-bye eyes”—to be specific—because I fall asleep soon after I lie down.<\/p>\n

“I don’t,” I say.<\/p>\n

“You do,” he counters. “You lie down, and your eyelids get heavy. Then you go right to sleep. It’s really cute.”<\/p>\n

“I don’t, and it’s not. I am not<\/i> a doll.”<\/p>\n

“You do, and it is. You’re Tiny Tears.”<\/p>\n

I pout in silence for a moment, and then to be contrary (as much as to change the subject), I tell him, “What about Betsy Wetsy<\/a> then?”<\/p>\n

“Oh, God,” he says. “Betsy Wetsy. You’re supposed to feed her water from a bottle, and she tinkles.”<\/p>\n

“Yeah, I know.”<\/p>\n

“Those who were really sick and perverted would feed her lemonade.”<\/p>\n

I frown. “Lemonade?”<\/p>\n

“Ohhhhhhhhh yeah.”<\/p>\n

And then I get it: yellow water, kind of pulpy. I make a face. “Oh, that’s just wrong,” I say in disgust. “That’s so<\/i> wrong.”<\/p>\n

“I know,” he says.<\/p>\n

“I mean,” I continue, “come on… lemonade? That’s just not right.”<\/p>\n

“Yeah, I know.”<\/p>\n

I’m on a roll, and he’s taking me seriously for once so I’m speaking in earnest by now. “Now, see? Lemonade’s no good—”<\/p>\n

“I know, dear—”<\/p>\n

“If it were me, I’d be using apple juice.”<\/p>\n

“…”
\n“…”<\/p>\n

I suddenly realize there’s only silence on his end, so I look over at him. His eyes are closed, head shaking side to side in a negative gesture, and there’s a look on his face that looks like it might be a smile or a grimace of pain. Then I spot his shoulders shaking…<\/p>\n

…in mirth<\/i>.<\/p>\n

“Come on,” I tell him. “Don’t you think apple juice would be perfect? It’s the right color, and there’s no pulp.”<\/p>\n

He finally bursts into laughter, and I look at him like he’s crazy. He’s laughing over apple juice… and Betsy Wetsy. He’s laughing his head off because of something I said.<\/p>\n

“You see?” I tell him, pouting. “You never take me seriously.”<\/p>\nShare this post:

\"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"reddit\"<\/a>\"pinterest\"<\/a>\"linkedin\"<\/a>\"tumblr\"<\/a>\"mail\"<\/a>\"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"reddit\"<\/a>\"pinterest\"<\/a>\"linkedin\"<\/a>\"tumblr\"<\/a>\"mail\"<\/a><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He thinks I’m cute. I think he’s wearing rose-colored glasses. He thinks that because of the way that I look and sound, I get away with a lot. I think that because of the way that I look and sound, no one takes me seriously. Case in point: he compares me to a doll. A doll. Tiny Tears with the “rock-a-bye eyes”—to be specific—because I fall asleep soon after I lie down. “I don’t,” I say. “You do,” he counters….<\/p>\n

Read More Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-58","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=58"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=58"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=58"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=58"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}