{"id":43,"date":"2002-06-27T21:29:14","date_gmt":"2002-06-28T05:29:14","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=43"},"modified":"2007-03-28T16:59:49","modified_gmt":"2007-03-29T00:59:49","slug":"heaven-bound-beans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/?p=43","title":{"rendered":"Heaven Bound Beans"},"content":{"rendered":"

Our web programmer says the darndest things sometimes. Like some of the guys upstairs, he’ll get into a junior high mode and make farting sounds with his mouth. Today, he did that, and I just sat there, wrinkled my nose and said, “Ew, ew, ew.”<\/p>\n

Then, absolutely straight-faced, he told me, “It’s okay. Every time a person farts, a little bean goes up to heaven.”<\/p>\n

I can’t even imagine the comical look that must have been on my face. I couldn’t tell if he was pulling my leg or if it was some Mexican folk tale he seriously believed. “What did you say?” I asked.<\/p>\n

“Every time a person farts, a little bean goes up to heaven.”<\/p>\n

Good God. All I could think about was Jimmy Stewart and a little girl at Christmas time, having a wonderful life<\/a>, when out of the blue someone farts. The little girl then points at the perpetrator and exclaims quite happily, “Look, Daddy! Teacher says that every time a person farts, a little bean goes up to heaven.”<\/p>\n

Jimmy Stewart then smiles, winks up at heaven and says, “Atta boy, little bean. Atta boy.”<\/p>\n

The imaginary tableau was just too much for me. I was in hysterics for half an hour, gasping for breath every time I thought of it and breathlessly asking the web programmer where in all the earth he ever heard of such a thing.<\/p>\n

“I don’t know,” he admitted, catching on to my laughter and grinning. “I think my grandfather made it up.”<\/p>\n

Well, good for him,<\/i> I thought. It’s actually kind of a nice—though horrifyingly strange—thought… little beans going to heaven. I mean, if they’re good for your heart, they must be good enough to gain access through the Pearly Gates.<\/p>\n

Um…<\/p>\n

Right?<\/p>\nShare this post:

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Our web programmer says the darndest things sometimes. Like some of the guys upstairs, he’ll get into a junior high mode and make farting sounds with his mouth. Today, he did that, and I just sat there, wrinkled my nose and said, “Ew, ew, ew.” Then, absolutely straight-faced, he told me, “It’s okay. Every time a person farts, a little bean goes up to heaven.” I can’t even imagine the comical look that must have been on my face. I…<\/p>\n

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