{"id":283,"date":"2003-11-28T23:54:58","date_gmt":"2003-11-29T07:54:58","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=283"},"modified":"2005-03-27T08:28:59","modified_gmt":"2005-03-27T16:28:59","slug":"this-does-not-bode-well","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/?p=283","title":{"rendered":"This Does Not Bode Well"},"content":{"rendered":"

So I had some Chinese take-out food for dinner, and I felt fat and happy with my belly filled.<\/p>\n

When I opened my fortune cookie, I felt even more content, for my fortune told me, “You will always be successful in your professional career<\/b>,” and there I was, feeling really good about my art and myself and thinking, I should really iron the little folds out of this fortune paper and keep it someplace safe<\/i>.<\/p>\n

So I pulled at the ends to straighten the piece of paper, all the while thinking of my recently commissioned pieces and the promise of more work and how I really, really like this fortune, when all of a sudden, after pulling a little too hard, my fortune rips in two and my hands go flying in opposite directions, each still gripping the end it held.<\/p>\n

Surprised, I looked down at my ripped fortune and noticed that the tear was towards the right end, so that most of the fortune was still intact, and even though I am really not that superstitious or silly or insanely irrational, my first fleeting thought was that this must totally invalidate the fortune and change my fate.<\/p>\n

Sufficiently dismayed by that thought, I re-read my fortune to reassure myself—then again and again, with growing horror, until I groaned aloud in distress, “Ah!”<\/p>\n

“What is it? What’s wrong?” H.E. asked, and I proceeded to tell him.<\/p>\n

“Well, my fortune read, ‘You will always be successful in your professional career<\/b>,’ but I’ve accidentally ripped it!”<\/p>\n

“Yeah, so?” he prompted.<\/p>\n

“And now my fortune reads, ‘You will always be succ<\/i> in your professional career.<\/b>‘”<\/p>\n

At this, H.E.—that unfeeling, uncaring brute of a man—burst into the loudest, heartiest laughter I’ve ever heard, and he actually had to wipe tears from his eyes, he was laughing so hard.<\/p>\n

I pouted.<\/p>\n

Though I’ve got to admit, it is<\/i> kind of funny.<\/p>\nShare this post:

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So I had some Chinese take-out food for dinner, and I felt fat and happy with my belly filled. When I opened my fortune cookie, I felt even more content, for my fortune told me, “You will always be successful in your professional career,” and there I was, feeling really good about my art and myself and thinking, I should really iron the little folds out of this fortune paper and keep it someplace safe. So I pulled at the…<\/p>\n

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