{"id":223,"date":"2003-06-26T23:19:21","date_gmt":"2003-06-27T07:19:21","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=223"},"modified":"2005-09-24T08:08:22","modified_gmt":"2005-09-24T16:08:22","slug":"all-i-have-to-do-is-dream","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aprilgem.com\/log\/?p=223","title":{"rendered":"All I Have To Do Is Dream"},"content":{"rendered":"

Apparently I giggle when I sleep. Tense with a headache and too exhausted to do much else, I fell asleep while getting my neck massaged and ended up time traveling<\/a> again. This time I went a mere two hours into the future with my friends to attend a dinner party, and as we waited for the food we watched a gray-striped kitten hang upside down from a ceiling fan like some circus performer. I giggled myself half-awake at the kitten’s antics and suddenly heard an amused voice intrude:<\/p>\n

“Even asleep, you’re the most entertaining woman I’ve ever been with.”<\/p>\n

This is not necessarily a compliment since, apparently, I also fart in my sleep—which we all know can be very<\/i> entertaining<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But anyway, I allowed myself to wake up a little more to ask for an explanation and was treated to a description of my sleeping habits—how I talk about things that don’t make sense, how I snore like the cat, and how upset I get if anyone I know does anything bad in one of my dreams.<\/p>\n

“Don’t you ever<\/i> jump off the balcony again. You nearly scared me to death, and I had to call 911!”<\/p>\n

“No, you didn’t.”<\/p>\n

“Yes, I did. You weren’t moving!<\/i>“<\/p>\n

“No, you didn’t, you freak. You were dreaming. Remember? My jumping off the balcony and your calling 911—it was all a dream.”<\/p>\n

“Yeah, but still! Don’t you ever<\/i> jump off the balcony like that again.”<\/p>\n

Exasperated sigh. “Yes, dear.”<\/p>\n

Anyway, it seems that one can have lengthy conversations with me while I’m asleep. The conversations make absolutely no sense to those awake, but I can always be counted on to respond as though everything was perfectly normal. I have never in my life gone so far as calling someone in the middle of the night to argue with them<\/a> while sleeping, but I’m almost certain I’ve had some interesting heart-to-hearts. Makes me glad I don’t sleepwalk. I can just imagine the sort of trouble I’d get myself into if I did that on top of everything else.<\/p>\n

“Don’t you ever<\/i> jump off the balcony again. You nearly scared me to death, and I had to call 911!”<\/p>\n

“No, you didn’t. You were flying down to my time machine so you could invent the baseball bat before I could, weren’t you.”<\/p>\n

“What? What in the hell are you talking about?”<\/p>\n

“Just let the poor cat do her tricks on the ceiling fan, why don’t you? Dinner won’t be ready for another two minutes.”<\/p>\n

“Oh, God. You’re asleep again, aren’t you?”<\/p>\n

“Want to see me fly?”<\/p>\n

“Ohhhh, man.”<\/p>\n

Yeah, definitely. Thank God I don’t sleepwalk.<\/p>\nShare this post:

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Apparently I giggle when I sleep. Tense with a headache and too exhausted to do much else, I fell asleep while getting my neck massaged and ended up time traveling again. This time I went a mere two hours into the future with my friends to attend a dinner party, and as we waited for the food we watched a gray-striped kitten hang upside down from a ceiling fan like some circus performer. I giggled myself half-awake at the kitten’s…<\/p>\n

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