I don’t live that far above Hell. If I’m not careful and I actually have to make a trip below, I may come across one or two of its residents — a little grubby, maybe reeking of smoke, and quite probably yelling at the little yapping creatures they call dogs. Even though each apartment in the complex has two bedrooms or less, they always seem to have an endless supply of people downstairs. I have no idea if they’re at…
He’s Irish, so I thought I’d ask him. “Do you know the name of this song?” I began humming a lilting Irish tune, the one that’s been playing in my head for weeks because I’d heard it on the radio again. It was a song I was sure I had in my CD collection somewhere, only I couldn’t remember where, and I was too lazy to get the CDs out and check for myself. “Hmm,” he said. “‘Londonderry Air’.” I…
Gawd. I did it again. Not that it’s special or unique every time I do it — I mean it probably happens at least twice everyday without my knowledge — but I’ve caught myself doing it several times this week. Being Gracie, that is. It must be my new job that’s got me this distracted. I’ve been so excited every day since I’ve started working there that half my brain has leaked out from inattention. I mean, contrary to popular…
There are quite a few television advertisements that grab my attention in the most negative way. One of them begins with a woman asking, “How do you tell your husband I have cancer?” Every time I hear that, I want to scream at her with “Why would I want to tell my husband that you have cancer? Why would he or I care? And when the heck did I even get married?!” I’m not stupid enough to actually believe that…
I do my spring cleaning in the summer time, when it’s so unbearably hot and uncomfortable that I constantly wish I’d actually done the cleaning in the spring. That’s how it’s done, you know — at the most inconvenient time of the year. Yesterday, I spent the day cleaning out my closets, and aside from all the femurs and skulls in there, I had tons and tons of papers, clothes, knick-knacks, art supplies, books, letters, tapes, and miniature kitchen sinks…