I had the best, best birthday in a long, long time. I think the last time may have been when I was 4 — when I had two cakes, a table full of food, a house full of guests, and all the best wishes and money and gifts that all who was there had for me. This year, it was a small affair — a party of two. We started early and ended late, with dinners out during the weekend,…
He is so pussy-whipped. The minute he’s up, she’s at him about breakfast, giving him a plaintive little sound and that 800-number poster child expression with her eyes. Immediately, he gets her something to eat, and he doesn’t even get a “thank you.” Some days, just to be stubborn, he’ll wait for a little bit; but all she needs to do is lurk about and stare at him–almost reproachingly–before he gives in and caters to her needs. He initiates all…
So the holidays have come and gone. I’m no longer an 8-year-old with a loot to lord over, no inventory of gifts galore gracing my toy box. Nope. No siree. This year, my loot totalled two gifts — and dagnabit, do I feel lucky. Two received for two given, and I’m even-Steven. It’s amazing how the number of presents we receive sort of dwindles as we get older. I guess people figure we’re all old enough to withstand the disappointment….
I have got to move out of this neighborhood. Not only do I have to contend with the neighbors, but I have to watch the trailer trash and illegal immigrant types let their kids run around loose in the parking lots,… as though cars don’t drive around there legally, as potential killers of human offspring. Talk about retroactive birth control! The parents either don’t know, don’t care, or don’t pay attention. On our weekly grocery shopping trip today, I actually…
November has turned into December, and in the end I never needed the Thanksgiving holiday. We went out for dinner and had not a sliver of turkey, which I don’t like anyway because even the juiciest turkey is too dry for me; I also went back to work on Friday because the deadlines were looming, and I wanted to save myself the pain of a stressful Monday. So the four-day Thanksgiving weekend sort of passed me by. Not that I…