Situation #120

Situation #120

So I finally did it the other day. I cut my hair. More than that—I shaved it off. All of it.

I can’t say why I did it, and truly I must be insane. I was in tears after I shaved it off with the clippers I use to cut H.E.’s hair. I cried for hours in regret, and H.E. was surprisingly calm about the whole thing. He decided to shave his head, too. So now we’re both blindingly bald.

And in the dead of winter? Come on. A bald head isn’t really the sort of accessory I’d like to have in this kind of weather, and I absolutely refuse to wear a hat or a wig. When I drove to work yesterday, I kept imagining that everyone on the street and in the cars around me kept staring at me as I shivered in my hooded bald head. Nikki‘s sending me a scarf, though, so I think I’ll be using it as a head wrap.

People’s reaction to me? Good God. Some people at work practically screamed their distress at me. “Oh, my God! What did you do to yourself?! You had such beautiful hair—WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!”

I didn’t say a word. I just shook my head and cried.

I was the talk of the building though, even more so when I wouldn’t say why I cut my hair. People speculated behind my back when they didn’t ask me directly. I could hear them whispering around the corner when they weren’t asking me if they could touch my scalp.

I’m sure some people think that I have cancer, or that I did it on a dare. Or perhaps they think someone thought to punish me or play a practical joke on me by shaving my head while tied down or asleep. Think what you like. I’ll just wallow in silence until my hair grows back out again.

Needless to say, I refuse to post photos.

This entry was inspired by Question #120 in The Book of Questions, page 105: Would you accept $10,000 to shave your head and continue your normal activities sans hat or wig without explaining the reason for your haircut?

Damn straight, I would. Wouldn’t you?

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47 thoughts on “Situation #120”

  1. I could use 10 grand right now a lot more than I can use my hair!
    (wouldn’t be much of a loss anyway)
    It’s the not telling part that would be hard.

  2. Oh dearest, that is incredibly bold of you. I’ve threatened to do that several times but I keep chickening out.

    Shall I knit you a hat a.s.a.p.?

  5. I still can’t believe it. I read the first paragraph of this post and then before reading the rest of the entry, skimmed the last few lines to see if you admit pulling a fast one on your readers.

    Should I send you a cute hat? 🙂

  6. Like Minnie, I was sure that April was pulling our collective legs, and would let us off the hook at the end.

    I did some investigation and have discovered that April was in fact not the source of that annoying tugging sensation on my lower limbs. In fact I have proof.

    Visual proof.

    The evidence speaks for itself.

    http://www.u-blog.net/bdan/img/april.jpg

  7. Before you were a long locked beautiful lady, now you can stand for Miss World Bald competitions 🙂

    Think this will make you feel better 🙂 http://www.donnacalva.it/miss1.htm

    And got a surprise for you 2morrow.
    p.s dont cry over cut hair.

  8. April, WELCOME TO THE RANKS!!! You probably already knew that you would get MY undying support on this one! There is really nothing sexier than a woman pulling something like that. I think that women have been hiding "Behind" their hair for eons, and you can’t let anyone define you by your "Locks" Don’t cry over it, I’m serious. Way to go! As far as people wanting to touch your scalp, I feel ya there! Well, not literally, LOL! If my head were to be tested by the C.S.I. crew (Vegas cast only, I can’t stand the Miami cast) they would be able to lift the number of prints that would comprise a small pygmy village.

    Enough said, but WAY TO GO!!! Im sure it looks great, it will just take some getting used to. Im sure that H.E. has been very supportive, you can tell that already by the fact that he did the same thing. In a similar but unrelated situation, when my best friends father was undergoing chemo, he lost all of his hair. He was a boy scout troop leader, and when he came to visit the troop, all of the boys shaved their heads to show him their support. That was a beautiful and touching thing for them to do.

    I hope your day is a good one!

  9. I am shocked. That took a lot of guts for you to do. Not many women have the fortitude to complain about winter in California when the rest of us are suffering with -15 temps. ;^p

  10. I am extremely surprised at this development. I can understand getting the ole ‘chop to the chin’ cut but I don’t really understand going bald.

    More later

  11. Oh, my God. Before I receive any more understandably shocked or wonderfully supportive comments or e-mail (thank you all, by the way!), I just want to reassure and/or shamefully confess that I did not actually cut my hair.

    I feel like a heel now, but when I wrote this I thought for sure that the last two paragraphs made it clear. Heck, a previous entry of mine was even less clear, but no one actually believed that 24 robbers came knocking at my door. So I thought this post would end up being like another previous entry of mine, where everyone kind of laughs at the end or points at me, sports a chagrined look, and says, “Ohhhh, you! You got me!”

    So again, to be clear … I DID NOT ACTUALLY CUT MY HAIR.

    "This entry [note, it does not say "this action"] was inspired by Question #120 in The Book of Questions, page 105: Would you accept $10,000 to shave your head and continue your normal activities sans hat or wig without explaining the reason for your haircut?"

    Of course I would shave my head for ten grand. Alas, no one has offered me ten grand. So the hair stays, and there are no bald photos (except maybe the one provided by Brendan, lol; nice work, by the way!). The entry was pure speculation of how it would be if I shaved my head unexpectedly.

    I am so very sorry to have misled anyone. I’m a total dork, and I admit it.

    I hope no one hates me or stops reading me because of this. I need my audience for when I do cut my hair!

  12. If I understood the story, surely Brendan did too. ;’)

    btw It’s -8 degrees below zero here in New England. (without wind chill) I dread going out to see if my car will start with or without hair.

  25. Oops. Guess I need to slow down and untangle this comments issue before posting. I’m getting wigged out over it.

  31. Watch out April!

    Your blog has been hijacked by what appears to be a large lizard and a woman who inexplicably has 2 k’s in her name.

    They seem to have lot of time on their hands, and a strange obsession with hair.

    I’d recommend that you call in the Crocodile Hunter and get him to offer his baby as a sacrifice to the lizard.

    And give a dictionary to the 2k lady.

  32. Hee, hoo, ha…. Okay, you got me.. LOL! I originally suspected some type of hi-jinx was afoot, but you gave oh-so-much detail, so I figured that you actually pulled it off, so to speak.

  34. Whoa. What happened to the comments? Tsk. For that, I should lock you two up in neighboring cells with nothing but braid and water.

  41. Ah, I see you’ve made some headway and straightened out the copyright problem. Messing with the code can get pretty hairy sometimes.

  45. Braids aren’t so bad. But let your hair down (or shave it) just once, and the hair puns go flying everywhere.

    As for Dave’s dander, why wouldn’t I want to see it? Is his dander rough?

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