Browsed by
Category: Essays

Conditional Love

Conditional Love

To no one in particular, Everyone wants unconditional love. I cannot give it to you. If you want unconditional love, go find yourself a dog, a god, or an enabling personality. No matter how neglectful, abusive, or hurtful you might be, you can be sure to find unwavering love from those three. But not me. If you strike me or neglect me, I will not look at you with puppy dog eyes or fetch your slippers. If you kill or…

Read More Read More

On Writing and Laughter (and Sex)

On Writing and Laughter (and Sex)

As I’ve mentioned in my About page, I’ve once or twice been compared to Dorothy Parker. At the time, I had no idea who Dorothy Parker was; I’d never read her work, and I’d never heard of her. So I looked her up and found little gems like: This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. and: Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns…

Read More Read More

Lost Wisdom

Lost Wisdom

A clean cut Beach Boy song on the radio prompted H.E. to wax didactic about songwriter Brian Wilson’s not so clean cut ways. As with everything, H.E. was a knowledge cornucopia of the Beach Boy’s pharmacopoeia, but especially so because he’d met the man, and the man in his later wisdom told him that he couldn’t recall the years of his life during his heaviest drug use. Years! Wilson would be shown a photo of himself and others, and he…

Read More Read More

The Choice

The Choice

I sometimes imagine that right before the noses, eyes, breasts and biceps are passed out among the born-to-be souls, some God’s assistant, who looks remarkably like Anne of Green Gables, asks: “Which would you rather be: divinely beautiful, dazzlingly clever, or angelically good?” Tough choice. I don’t think I would have been granted divine beauty, even if I’d asked for it. All divine beauties have shapely noses, and I’m part Filipino, so the laws of genetics dictate that I have…

Read More Read More

Secret Admirer

Secret Admirer

At work today, one of the guys working in the warehouse did a very sweet thing. He brought pink carnations for all of the women in the company. There was no flourish, no explanation, just a smile and a simple presentation of the thoughtful gift. It brightened every woman’s day, whether she already had a valentine or not. One woman asked, “Who is this from?” He answered simply, “From a secret admirer.” And I guess from his point of view,…

Read More Read More