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Category: Dialogues

Stunt Secretary

Stunt Secretary

Reading the credits crawling up the screen after watching Harry Potter, H.E. and I remark on the names and job titles. HE: Stunt secretary. You’d be perfect for that. Me [imagining self leaping four-story file cabinets, whipping phone cords around the necks of villianous clients, and shooting stapleguns at evil bosses while racing around office desks]: Oh, yeah. I could totally do that. HE: I mean, because of your clumsiness. I can see you stumbling around the office, knocking yourself…

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Important News

Important News

April: If I needed you to do it, would you be able to put together a press conference for me? H.E.: Yeah, that’s easy. Why? April: I have something to announce, and I figure a press conference is the best way. H.E.: Sure. You can count on me. What are you going to … ? April: I’m going to reveal that I, too, could be the father to Anna Nicole Smith’s baby, and I will submit my DNA for the…

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Change of Plans

Change of Plans

Ah, if you only knew… I was going to post about leaving town again today, but my plans have changed, and I’m staying home for the weekend after all. Too much to do anyway. So … instead of going to LAX tonight, I’ll probably catch a movie. I’m sure the cat’s happy about it. She hates being put in the carrier and boarded at the vet. Absolutely hates it. And they’re doing repairs in my neighborhood, which probably requires I…

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Guess These Cultural References

Guess These Cultural References

H.E. and I shopped at Target today for some household items. As we went down the aisle of trash cans and laundry baskets, we pointed out the various styles… April: Oh, look! I love how they make them curve now, to accomodate the shape of a person’s hip. [Demonstrates by holding a basket at her side, edge on her hip.] H.E.: Do you need a laundry basket? April: Nah. I have at least two of them at home. [Notices another…

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Happy Thanksgiving from California

Happy Thanksgiving from California

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. May you all have a good and safe holiday. 🙂 Here are a couple of Thanksgiving conversations for you: H.E.: [My stepfather’s] mother made the best apple strudel. April: What did you call her? Grandmother? H.E.: I called her Großmutter (Grossmutter). April: Grossmutter? Is that like fat mother? H.E.: It means grandmother, not fat mother. April: Okay, well. Gross in French means fat. H.E.: Yes, dear. That’s why we call it German. Later, while shopping… April: (pointing…

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