Prince Valium (continued)

You yell loudly, hoping to scare the wolf away.

It works. You startle the wolf, whose eyes and ears turn swiftly toward you. You finally have the full effect of the menace that was facing Little Red earlier, and you can barely look the wolf in its glinting and baleful eyes. To your horror, you can't seem to react. You remain frozen in place as the wolf continues approaching you, teeth bared and a low growl deep in its throat.

Terror-stricken, you whimper.

...and the wolf slumps slowly to the ground, head thumping softly on the floor. It takes you a moment to realize that the wolf has been rendered unconscious.

"Are you alright?" Little Red asks.

You look up into emerald green eyes framed by soft, dark auburn hair. The old man was right; she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, and she's standing just behind the prone wolf with a tranquilizer gun in her hand.

You blink. "Yes, thank you."

You sound inane. In fact, you realize that you must sound stupid. Weren't you supposed to save Little Red, not the other way around? Yet here she is, having just shot the wolf with a tranquilizer gun while the wolf was distracted by you. But you aren't overly concerned about your manhood right now; Little Red has just smiled, and you find yourself utterly charmed by it.

"No," she tells you. "Thank you. If it hadn't been for you, I would never have been able to get my trank gun. You saved me."

For a breathless moment, you merely stare at her--gorgeous, gutsy, and all girl. "Guh" is all you manage to say.

Little Red gasps. "Oh, Grandmother!"

"What?" You blink again in confusion.

"Grandmother!" Little Red calls out suddenly. "You can come down now!" She turns back to you, beaming. "I made Grandmother hide upstairs until I could stop the wolf, but I couldn't have done it without you. We make a great team, don't you think? We should be partners; we're that good together."

"Uh," you say. You try to come up with the best way to woo her. It must be a crime being that beautiful, you think. Then you realize that she's already suggesting the two of you get together, before you've even had a chance to figure out how to approach her about it.

Just then, an old woman comes down the stairs, warily looking around her for wolves. "Is it safe?" she asks.

Little Red nods. "The wolf is dead, thanks to my future husband here." She turns to you. "I'm sorry. What's your name?"

"Valium," you say automatically. "Prince Valium."

Little Red grins. "Nice to meet you Valium. My name is Mrs. Prince Valium, but you can call me Red."

Headstrong, the old man said. He was right about that, too. Out loud, you say, "Nice to meet you, Red."

And the two of you live happily ever after.