Prince Valium (continued)

You approach the wolf and swing the axe at him. My, you're a bloodthirsty kind of guy.

Your axe swings true, and you manage to slice through the wolf's skull and embed the blade in gory brain material. Blood spurts out and splatters you and Little Red. You don't even hear a final whimper from the beast.

For a moment, you stand there, stunned. You don't quite believe that you've done it, killed the wolf this easily to save the day. With a hint of a surprised smile, you look at Little Red, whose hand is on her chest as she stares at the dead wolf in shock.

The old man was right. Little Red is the most beautiful woman you've seen. Her auburn hair seems to burn as it frames her face, her eyes like jewels, glowing.

Then she looks at you with those eyes, and they seem to narrow into jade slivers. Her mouth grows thin and hard, and her eyebrows slant down in the middle.

"What," she asks, "have you done, you moron?"

You blink. "What do you mean? I just killed the wolf."

"Don't you think I know that?" she snaps. "You just killed one of nature's creations. What did he ever do to you?!"

"But..." you stammer, "he was going to..."

"Is that any excuse to murder?!" Little Red throws up her hands in fury. "I should report you to the humane society! I should put it out in the papers! You murdering idiot! You slayer of animals! I'll bet you're not even vegetarian!" By this time, she has reached you in her anger, and she's pounding on your chest with her fists, futilely beating you for your action. "You should be locked up, and the key should be thrown away! You should be dragged along the..."

She continues, but you have no desire to hear the rest. You manage to avoid the next few blows to your chest, and you turn and flee. You run like the wind, and you never look back.

Forget about saving damsels in distress. You want to save yourself.